The Dimple Maker, 1936

The Poker Face Mask

The family bicycle equipped with a sewing machine for mom

An icemask which promised to beat hangovers, 1947

Portable sauna

A vibrating rubber finger that massaged your gums

The Isolater which helped writers focus by blocking out all sights and sounds, 1925

A toilet mask that bleached skin to remove “imperfections”

The Baby Cage let city kids get fresh air… by hanging out of a window

A terrifying swim mask from the 1920s

The Cone Face which protected makeup from the elements

This “beauty micrometer” let users know where makeup needed to be applied, 1937

The Baby Dangler

Scrumptious bacon that cooked in a toaster

The People Scooper – an attachment for your car

The Scalp Molester – a massager made up of 480 articifical fingers

The Pack Smoker, 1955

The Egg Cuber for turning regular eggs into square eggs

Clamps that helped to teach your kid to walk

The Orgy Shower

A box that blasted your head with ultraviolet rays in hopes of curing diseases

The Dog Squeezer (a restraint), 1940

Bikes for your feet

Motorized roller skates, 1961

A depressing hair growth hat that supposedly cured baldness

A massive automatic hair dryer

Revolver that took a photo every time it was fired

Tiny umbrella for smoking on a rain day

TV glasses decades before Google Glass, 1960s

Venetian blind sunglasses

Mouse scaring machine that made cat noises

Tanning vending machines, which provided people with a 30 second spray for ten cents, 1930

If you thought today’s spray on tans are bad, think about how bad these must have been.

Pipe for two, 1949

Pain free paddle, 1950

The single-wheeled motorcycle

Motorized surfboard

Hair permer, 1930

This shower hood was used to protect hair from getting wet, 1970

A pram to protect babies from a toxic gas attack

The 2 inch television

Inflatable life vests made from old tires

The Turkey Blaster