20 New Rules The Internet Proposes For Football

1. If you’re wide open and you drop a pass you are required to sing “I’m a little teapot” before you are eligible for play.

2. To challenge a call the head coach has to beat the ref in a debate about who would win a Batman vs. Superman fight.

3. Refs may start a game of “red light, green light” during any play, as they please.

4. Catches off the bounce count for half points.

5. Freeze tag rules: if you get tackled someone from your team has to crawl between your legs before you can play again.

6. The losing team’s coach gets a cooler full of bricks dumped on him.

7. If you throw an interception you are now required to hang your head in shame, immediately walk off the field, and write “I am not on the other team” 300 times on the nearest chalkboard.

8. John Madden decides every play.

9. Squirrels are allowed to be thrown into opposing players pants.

10. If both teams end regulation in a tie game, the two opposing teams must have a Dance Battle to determine the overtime winner.

11. The announcers are allowed to comment on how stupid the refs, coaches, and players are. Uncensored.

12. There will be a life sized cut out of Dikembe Mutombo put in the middle of every goal post.

13. Whoever scores has to kick for the extra point.

14. Smiling is a 10 yard penalty for looking like you’re having fun.

15. The flags must be picked up by the player who committed the foul and worn as a sign of shame for the rest of the game.

16. Every fumble adds one minute to a Taylor Swift appearance at the Super Bowl.

17. If you catch a TD pass you can force one player on the other team to wear high heels.

18. Every time you make a tackle, the player you tackled is required to high five you.

19. Both AFC and NFC wildcard games must be played in 3 feet of water.

20. Least valuable player must karaoke to song of the MVP’s choice.