Here Is How The Most Lonely Person On The Planet Spent Valentine’s Day

Woke up with my valentine

Well, woke up BY my valentine.

Started off the day making us breakfast

A broccoli, spinach and onion egg-white omelette.

It was good

We spent the rest of the day doing my valentines favorite things

Like playing in boxes

Doing the Waltz

Or playing in bags

Doing the Charleston

She is very good.

Running around for seemingly no reason

We watched her favorite movie

She sang the entire time.

Then we got dressed for dinner

I went with red, ya know, because it’s valentines day. She decided to put on her finest purple collar.

I made her favorite food and drink

I cooked wet cat food, Bitches love wet cat food. She also had her favorite milk. It’s a 2002, skim noir, very expensive.

I don’t eat meat on the weekdays so I made myself my own vegetarian dish

I also had some wine.

The dinner table looked lovely



Doesn’t she look lovely?

I’m so lucky

As is normal for the end of valentines, SEXY TIME…